I love my fuzzy alpaca slippers, but the toe I broke (last year?) kinda slips and twitches and feels odd in them – that toe seems to need to be pretty tightly bound most of the time now – held in place – with my trainers I need to mind my footfall to avoid that weird feeling, but I’m grateful that the hiking boots just work.
My lower right leg still hurts – randomly – most of the time it is fine, but about once a day a twitch of pain throbs up by the impact point below the knee, or randomly from the inside lower part of the leg near the ankle. But it is getting better, I think, and the swelling from the bone bruise is nearly gone.
A blow to the left knee a few weeks ago isn’t hurting while walking any more, and now just hurts on contact.
It seems to take a long time for me to heal anymore. I’m accumulating injuries now faster than I can heal from them. I’m 44, so not entirely surprising.
I don’t sleep much after martial arts practice. Those nights are always very intense, very unsettled.
And then there is the freezing problem…
I’m still terrified of confrontations. I still seriously doubt that if given the chance to sit or to get up and intervene that I would make the right choice this time. Lots and lots of exercise and sparring practice and forms hasn’t changed that.
Owning a bloody handgun hasn’t changed that. But that’s another post for another day. I’m going to get rid of it.
The trainers at the martial arts studio are the nicest people in the world, and very accomplished in what they do, and very good teachers…
I can’t do it anymore.
I know I was close to Black Belt, but I’m tired of hurting.
And I know I’m disappointing many people, including my dear wife and kids and instructors, but I just can’t do it. Anymore.
Walking and hiking I love. And the leg injuries were cutting into that. And I need to come up with something different for the freezing-under-pressure stuff. So, I realize this wasn’t the first time I’ve quit martial arts, but it will be the last.