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But It Won’t Own You

From an article in today’s Seattle Times:

If you fear uncertainty, and give yourself over to the dread of the many possible negative outcomes, then you’ll be as stuck in them as surely as if they had occurred. Take the person whose greatest fear is that a mate is cheating. That whole relationship becomes about infidelity — watching for it, imposing restrictions to pre-empt it, interrogating and snooping to discover it — whether the mate is straying or not.

If instead you accept that you’re just as subject to surprises as anyone, and that your only recourse is to choose people well, love them fully and trust yourself to handle it if things don’t turn out as you’d hoped, then the possibility of cheating — or illness or job loss or whatever else can befall a family — may scare you when it crosses your mind, but it won’t own you.